Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Herding Cats While Lifting Weights

Ever tried? Well, that's very much what yesterday (our first full day of real/logged) homeschooling felt like. Trying to herd strong minded cats who can scamper & scurry, while simultaneously lifting weights that are far to heavy to lift unless prepared & girded to do so. Its dangerously distracting & breathtakingly uncertain.

Surely, we had several weeks over the summer so it wasn't as if this was our first attempt, but since our summer school, we've had some developments. Samuel is older, smarter and more curious therefore less content to simply come along for the ride. And Gracia, has learned and is trying out new 'neighborhood' acquired attitudes as well as proudly announcing her newfound desire to go to regular school (because she thinks it would be easier).

I struggle the most, to be honest, with her statements of not wanting to be homeschooled because there is, of course, a part of me that doesn't want her to be homeschooled- LOL. I do wish she had the group opprotunities and 'fun atmosphere' that try as I might, I will not be able to reproduce. And of course, at risk of alienating those who have chosen to send their children to traditional schools, I so wish I could wave goodbye as she gets on the bus for a 7 hour day-and not be the adult responsible for training & educating her. It would be much, much easier for me. But of course, there are 1001 reasons that I do want her to be homeschooled, and so we proceed.

It was a long day, and today was as well. I always laugh & inwardly roll my eyes when non-homeschooling moms tell me 'I don't have the patience to homeschool'. I want to snort- "And you think I do?" Clearly, these people don't know me. No, this is faith journey in the rawest form. I don't possess the traits or abilities to make this happen. There is no plan B, no one else who has to bear this awesome responsiblity for modelling a Christ-like attitude, teaching values & forming character, while imparting knowlege & a love of learning (and do all the housework, and be mom to a toddler, and wife to an amazing husband and still find time to be healthy)

So yes, I admit I am purposely trying to herd cats while lifting weights- not out of stupidity, but because I trust that there are ARMS who are helping, watching & loving the entire time. I don't have the capacity for this. I trust that He does.