An Unknown Nobody

Saying goodbye to hundreds of rich relationships and embracing the new reality of not knowing anyone, is interesting to say the least. Its an adjustment to go from relationally overflowing to empty overnight. I don't know where to begin in describing this life transition.

I have noticed a tendancy to fill the void in a way....to get busy doing things as though a certain degree of emptiness, slowness is unnaccptable. When I'm busy, I'm distracted from what I don't want to think about. And in a way, there is a sense of safety in busyness that I hadn't noticed before. If I stay busy, I'm in constant motion- no time or quiet for depth....no need to face fears, asks questions or go much deeper than 'in the moment'. Busyness lends a false sense of importance and significance- especially in our culture. I feel a strange pressure to already have the pretense of a fulfulling life here in KY.

Yet the strangest thing is that in a way, I'm perfectly comfortable being an unknown, boring, at-home nobody for a while. We were so known and so genuinely busy for such a long time. It was good, but was draining. How exhiliarating to be an unknown with potential. If I can just keep the perspective that busyness does not equal meaning/fullness in life.

A 3 month fast forward

Fast forward past buying a new house in KY, the process of listing & selling our Virginia home, the packing, the endless tears & goodbyes to our close friends & church family, and resume playback 2 months later as we are in our new life. I desparately wanted to chronicle the process, but it was so overwhelming that I just lived in the moment and tried to take it all in.

So here I am in KY. My new life. The house is great, the city is great- both are better than expected. But I am- par for the course-struggling to adjust to this new reality. I have no doubts about the decision, just impatience I suppose at wanting to get through this next stage until we are more connected & have established some new relationships. I suppose I want to fast forward these next 3 months as well...